Hysterical Headlines (Funny or Absurd) for October 20th: 

Bottom Line: These are you daily doses of nonsense from the generally godless, soulless and slanderous news media... 

Breaking news: Trump isn't Hitler. Thank God for the New York Times! 

Excerpt: Republicans have put forward a budget that would have truly terrifying consequences. 

Whew, I'm glad we've been warned. I'll be sure to warn everyone the economy is about to really start growing again.  

What would we do without economic prowess like this? Maybe if we give the government even more of our money our incomes will really soar!  

Until Monday...