Do you want to sleep with your wife?

Do you want to sleep with your wife?   

Bottom Line: No, I'm not traveling down that path but it's related. The question is about sleeping in the same bed with your wife. A trend that's been on the increase in recent years - has been what's referred to by some as a "sleep divorce" - the act of spouses sleeping in separate beds. The reason behind the sleep divorce, as you'd likely guess, is the effort to get a better night's sleep.   

According to the CDC, 30% percent of Americans are sleep deprived, meaning that they average sleeping fewer than six hours per night. Those who work primarily at night, those in transportation and health care are those who're most likely to be clinically sleep deprived. Then enter this info from a recent nationwide survey conducted by Mattress Clarity. They found that specific to Floridians...    

  • 39% of married couples prefer to sleep in separate beds (8% higher than the national average)  

  • 41% of couples who do sleep separately don't discuss it with others (meaning it's more common than you realize)  

  • 25% of couples who do sleep in separate beds say it's helped their relationship  

  • 10% say that having shared a bed with their partner has previously been responsible for ending a relationship.    

And btw, it's not specific to men or women. In Florida 40% of men prefer to sleep in a separate bed compared to 38% of women so it's a very mutual and equitable thought among those who prefer the separate approach. So, if you've thought of doing it, is it a good idea? Every couple is different obviously but all of this hit home with me, so I'll give you an idea based on my experience. Ashley and I have a little system down that's worked for us.   

On weeknights I go to bed at 7:30 and am up at 3:05. Ashley doesn't go to bed anywhere near 7:30 and doesn't get up anywhere close to 3. When we moved into our current home about six years ago we had an idea. I setup shop in a guest bedroom with my clothes and in the bathroom so that when I'd be getting ready in the morning I wouldn't wake her up. That worked but we still had regular issues with me waking up when she'd get into bed and with me waking her up when I'd get up in the morning. Eventually I just starting sleeping in the guest bedroom during the week and it's worked extremely well for both of us on work nights. On weekends when we can go to sleep and get up together I sleep with her in our bed.   

It's worked perfectly for us and we've both slept a lot better as a result. So, if it's an idea you'd been considering, it might be work a try. Sleep is one of life's non-negotiables and making a switch to become better rested can make everything a litter better including potentially your marriage.  


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