Hysterical Headlines (Funny or Absurd) for January 5th:

Hysterical Headlines (Funny or Absurd) for January 5th:     

Bottom Line: These are your daily doses of nonsense from the (often GSS) media and my hot takes...      

It's so cold, stiff iguanas are turning belly-up all over South Florida - Sun-Sentinel  

Excerpt: Temperatures dipped below 40 degrees Thursday in parts of South Florida, cold enough to immobilize green iguanas, an invasive species whose population here has been skyrocketing in recent years. 

Hot Take: That's potentially an all-time top ten Hysterical Headline. Well done. Here's the thing. The stiff green guys might not be dead even though they might look like it. The cold can actually send them into shock that won't necessarily kill them. I'm not sure what to root for with this one. I've always been a bit conflicted on the iguana thing. On one hand they're an invasive species that potentially endangers native species and our habitat. On the other hand they're kinda cool to look at and I have a hard time rooting for them to die.   

Excerpt: Perhaps my favorite moment so far of the Trump presidency was when our president found himself at some sort of G-12 or G-8 or G-something meeting of global poobahs where U.S. presidents of late find themselves bowing and scraping for pathetic approval from world leaders by blowing billions of your money on that Three Card Monte heist called “global warming.” 

A picture was about to be taken and Mr. Trump found himself in the back of the back, loitering on the back row. With selfless disregard for his own comfort or safety, Mr. Trump sprang through the crowd — pushing all the lesser leaders aside — until the President of the United States was squarely front and center. Where the leader of the free world belongs. 

I guess if I had to pick one single thing that I love most about Donald Trump, it’s that — unlike all the rest — is Mr. Trump is not a Throne Sniffer. 

Hot take: That's entertainment (not to be confused with the musical). And you're forgiven if you didn't entirely know where that throne sniffer thing was going either. That's I headline I couldn't resist... 

Hot take: Need we look any further than the headline? I mean come on...Who doesn't want to spend time with angry feminists? Doesn't that just scream yeah - I want to be a part of that? Well, I guess unless it's Ashley Judd because let's be honest...some people might opt for the ear plugs for the shallowest of reasons... 

Until Monday...    


Sponsored Content

Sponsored Content