Hysterical Headlines (Funny or Absurd) for January 30th

Hysterical Headlines (Funny or Absurd) for January 30th   

Bottom Line: These are the daily doses of nonsense in the media and my hot takes on them... 

Excerpt: It’s not every day a walrus penis bone, the size of a baseball bat, is passed around a room. And when was the last time you heard the mating call of a Galápagos tortoise? Or did you know a male rhinoceros can be mounted to a female rhinoceros for an hour and perform in two- to five-minute stretches for the entire time? 

While many people might cringe at these little known facts, Zoo Miami ambassador Ron Magill says humans have a lot to learn from animals — especially about sex. So, after a three-year hiatus, Magill is bringing back his popular presentation “Sex & the Animals,” which he first gave more than 30 years ago. “Sex is a wonderful gift for two consenting adults,” said Magill, who for years presented the talk to a sold-out crowd around Valentine’s Day. “We can learn a lot from animals because they are doing what comes naturally. You can’t get any more natural than nature.” 

Hot take: Can't argue that logic but now I've got the Bloodhound Gang stuck in my head and you definitely wonder if the Discovery Channel is a much different experience for him... 

Hot Take: This is one of those headlines that's just begging for you to blurt out the first ten things that come to mind without thinking. Once you're done doing that and have begun cursing, Alex's idea is actually a decent one. Scout, attract, recruit and retain local talent. As he points out there's more than enough SFL talent to fill an all-star team around the league (let alone many of the surrounding islands) and it's easier to keep track of those closest to home if you're intent on doing it. Create a winning team of local talent and you're bound to have a passionate fan base. Or just do it the Marlins way. Wait until they become all-stars and trade them away. At least with Beckham's new team in Miami, the most passionate fans I've encountered at a Marlins game (those cheering soccer scores in the stands), will have a professional team to cheer for in Miami. 

Hot Take: Not to get bogged down in facts, I realize this is in the New York Times but wouldn't the President have to do something A. Highly illegal and B. Fire people to cover it up before earning the Nixonian comparison? Just wondering. The leftists in the media have overplayed their hands to attempt to take out Trump more times than are able to be accounted over the past year (after all 90% of the coverage of President Trump was negative in news media last year according to the Media Research Center) but this is the most pathetic yet. Trump doesn't do something eight months ago and he's Nixon. What the hell is wrong with these people (that's rhetorical by the way)? 

Until Tomorrow...   


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