Hysterical Headlines for May 16th – Chicken tenders the key to one's vote?

Hysterical Headlines (Funny or Absurd) for May 16th  Chicken tenders are the way to one's vote? 

Bottom Line: Your daily doses of nonsense in the media and my takes on them... 

  • Publix backs Putnam to tune of 74,527 chicken tender subs - Sun Sentinel

Excerpt: Publix, which shares Polk County as a home base with Republican candidate for governor Adam Putnam, has given Putnam enough money to buy 74,527 chicken tender subs in the past three years, the Tampa Bay Times is reportingIn dollar terms, that’s $670,000 to the state agriculture commissioner since 2017, campaign finance records show. 

No other Florida candidate has ever come close to that kind of financial support from the state’s largest Fortune 500 company. 

Putnam, who as agriculture commissioner oversees regulation of grocery stores, is from Bartow, just 20 minutes from Publix's headquarters in Lakeland. Company officials say that is one reason they support him. 

"As the hometown candidate, Publix has had a long-standing relationship with Commissioner Putnam," spokesman Brian West told the Times. "We support pro-business candidates, and believe Commissioner Putnam will make a great governor." 

Hot Take: Yeah but, yeah but... He's that gun guy right? I can almost hear what isn't being said. Why exactly is this a story again? But wait there's more. You'd think that the journalists (cough, cough) would at least do a little work and actually provide the rest of the story for example. And what's the rest of the story? 

In the 2018 cycle Publix has contributed more to Democrats than Republicans. You'd think that might be relevant information in a story about donated chicken (and think about that for a moment...). In the 2018 cycle Publix has donated: 

  • $137,409 (not chicken tender subs) to Democrats 

  • $97,705 to Republicans  

But analytical coverage isn't really what you were going for here (or potentially ever) is it? 

Hot Take: Have you ever read the warning label on a bucket and wondered why it's so long and tells you not to do things like filling it up and sticking your head in it? It's because someone actually did it and someone actually sued over it. Common sense died a long time ago. Yes, someone somewhere, claimed to have emotional support ants, and lizards and snakes oh my...and what about that person who just can't do without their support goat? 

Until tomorrow...     


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